A married couple sat at a table at the wife’s high school reunion, with an extremely inebriated man sprawled across from them.
“Do you know that woman?” the wife inquired.
“Yes,” the husband responded. “That is my ex-girlfriend.” She began drinking shortly after our breakup and hasn’t been sober since.”
“Oh, my lord,” the wife said. “Who knew it was possible to celebrate for that long?”
Here are a few more humorous jokes for you.
The Language of Bees
Why did the bee take a language class?
Because it wants to understand the jargon and engage in more meaningful hive chats!
The Quantum Barbeque
And thus Schrödinger, Heisenberg, and Einstein appear at a cookout. Heisenberg overlooks the sausages’ motion, Schrödinger presents a cat in a box, and Einstein simply keeps spoiling everyone’s plans with relativity.
Zen Garden Gnomes
Why did the gnomes from the Zen garden form a meditation group?
For the sole purpose of discovering their inner gnomes and attaining gnome enlightenment in the most gnome-wide manner imaginable!
A Cryptic Map of Pirates
“Dig for riches between the palm trees where the moon and sun meet,” reads a treasure map that a pirate discovered. After digging all day and getting blisters, he discovered it was only a lesson in palmistry!
Baker Traveling Through Time
The time-traveling baker returned to the eighteenth century, but why?
Go make some revolutionary buns and knead some historical dough!
The Gardening Ghost
Why did the ghost of the gardener succeed so well?
because it understood how to “spiritually” tend to the plants and had the greatest “grave” growth recommendations!
Alien’s Updated Phone
Why did the extraterrestrial update its communication system?
because it wants to stay “intergalactic-connected” and explore the Wi-Fi hotspots around the cosmos!
Chicken’s Comedic Stand-Up
What made the chicken turn into a stand-up performer?
Because it always had a cluck-worthy punchline ready and had a penchant for shattering yolks!
Shopping Trip on Mars
For what reason did the Martian visit Earth to shop?
since they had heard our malls were absolutely out of this world and featured the newest “interplanetary” fashion trends!
Contemplative Squirrels
What makes squirrels wonder about the purpose of life?
Due to their infatuation with introspection and acorn-controversial conversations!